These are by no means a complete set of reasons why problems may exist in a marriage, merely four possible reasons for problems in a marriage. Keep in mind that counselling is always an option to consider when trying to resolve marriage problems before a relationship is dissolved.

Infidelity: A reason which for most would probably comes to mind when thinking about this subject. A single incident of infidelity need not be the end of a marriage, however, repeated infidelity usually results in divorce. Infidelity in a marriage is a traumatic experience, with many difficult emotions to deal with like anger, shame, hurt, self-doubt, failure, helplessness etc. In such a situation one needs to deal with these complicated emotions within oneself first. Then move to a place where you are able to explore your decision regarding your future in this relationship. By this I mean question what the future is you need to, and want to, create for yourself - is this marriage something you want to maintain and work on.

Your decision may depend on factors like whether your partner is really feeling guilty for the transgression against you; are they seeking to understand what this experience has done to you and the emotions you have had to deal with; and does your partner really aspires to work towards a better marriage? If none of the latter occurs it is unlikely the relationship will endure.

In- laws: when you get married you not only enter into relationship with your spouse but also into relationship with your spouse's  family members or "family of origin". Your spouse's family of origin can strongly influence how they might chooses to behave in different situations, and may also affect the expectation they may have of your behaviour in the relationship. In order to reduce problems in this area it is important to get to know and understand each other's family of origin prior to and even during marriage. Family of origin and their unique ways of dealing with different situations, eg. conflict or finances, should be discussed in order to create a deeper understanding of each other, if possible, before a couple is married.

Boundaries applicable to in-laws need to be talked about, agreed on, set and tactfully communicated. By boundaries I mean the extent to which the in-laws are involved with you as a couple and in your marriage; and with you and your possible children (their grand-children). Navigating this changed relationship with their now adult child and daughter/son-in-law can be difficult for both parties. Where clear boundaries are not established, and an understanding of the influence of family of origin is not understood, conflict arises which can cause division within the marriage.

Lack of trust: A marriage relationship is a relationship where we are most vulnerable and so trust is an important pillar of any marriage. This does not discount issues such as respecting each other, acting in love towards each other and intimacy on many different levels. Trust is something that grows on its own gradually, when both partners put their best efforts into the relationship and create reasons to be trusted. When trust is broken for any reason, it takes time to rebuild it.  Even when it seems impossible to get trust back, as in the case of infidelity, it is possible - but takes work by both partners, both need to be committed to transparency and effective communication.

Communication: Communication is the bedrock of a solid marriage. It touches on and maintains the health of many other areas of a marriage.  In a relationship where there is a lack of communication or lack of understanding of what correct and effective communication is, problems will exist. Unfortunately this problem is not uncommon. In our busy lives where time is at a premium we seldom take the moments we need to establish whether our communication, our message, to our partner is successfully received.  We need to take the time to ask for feedback of understanding, a critical aspect of effective communication.