The world has changed much since those of us with teenage children were teens ourselves. What has not changed is that teens need to be part of, and connected to, a peer group; just like teens before them.  Being part of a peer group is necessary for healthy development.  However, we as parents face a real concern when it comes to our teens and their use of different technologies to connect with these peers, and the vulnerability of these same children, through the various apps and websites, to being exposed to material that is inappropriate or to inappropriate people or influences.

As parents we may feel limited in how to regulate what our children are seeing, reading and connecting with online because we are not able to be with them every minute of every day; and many children have access to cell phones or smart phones allowing them connection to others and the internet at any time. The question is therefore how can we best deal with this?

1. The starting point regarding this issue is relationship; we need to be in relationship with our children and teens. We need to be spending time with them, hearing them and communicating with them, allowing them to understand that we care about them, that we are approachable and open to talk about subjects and issues - even the difficult issues - without "freaking out".

2. Then, develop a good understanding of what social networks are available and which are commonly used by your teen. Understand  how they work; ignorance will not be your friend. Some of this knowledge can be gained by talking to other parents of teens about what their children use, but also talk to your child about what they are using and how they are using them. This will not just be a once off conversation it needs to be ongoing - technology is changing all the time. You can conversationally ask questions about their use of different platforms, such as "Did you post anything on Facebook today?”.

3. Keep computers in open, public areas of your home so that it is easier to monitor how much time your child is spending online and what they are doing when they are online at home.

4. Make sure that your children understand that anything shared online, a message or a picture, can at the push of a button be shared with a very wide community. Good judgment needs to be exercised when they are online.

5. Create a strategy, which is clearly communicated to your children, for regulating their online activity. Make sure you your are consistent and follow through with what you have told them. Be transparent and communicate to your teen if you are going to be checking computers and cell phones.  You can install monitoring tools but many teens know how to bypass them. Your aim needs to primarily be to encourage your teen to self regulate.

The above suggestions are not all there is to say about teens and social networks, or even the only ways to deal with the issue. It is wise, as a parent, to keep talking to other parents about this issue, get online yourself and find out what you can, and keep talking to your teen. A good relationship between parent and teen during the adolescent years is the strongest foundation for overcoming some of the more difficult issues one has to deal with at this life stage both as a parent and teenager.

Reference:

http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/pages/Talking-to-Kids-and-Teens-About-Social-Media-and-Sexting.aspx