We may be familiar with the idiom "He/she is green with envy" or have heard the reference to the "green eyed monster", however do we really understand the emotion of  envy? The word "monster" is possibly a clue to the fact that behaviour originating out of envy could be of an unpleasant nature. Envy it would seem is a notorious emotion and easily confused with jealousy, however these two emotions are distinct from each other. Envy is known as one of the "seven deadly sins" - in the eyes of some, an irredeemable emotion.

In order for envy to be felt there needs to be a subject to envy, possibly another person and something they either are, or own - followed by a comparison between you and them. It means on a certain level we are comparing our self worth against that of another.  

Envy is felt as a form of distress arising from an envious person's acknowledged lack after appraisal of the other. Envy, it seems, is mostly covert with few of us admitting to the realness of the feeling. According to Adam Smith author of The Theory of Moral Sentiments "Envy is that passion which views with malignant dislike the superiority of those who are really entitled to all the superiority they possess." 

As we consider the concept of envy we engage with the idea of malice, the intentionally destructive tendency of one feeling envious. It is possibly to want to see the destruction or fall of the person who has what we do not. It may, if not acknowledged and correctly dealt with, lead to negative or vicious behaviours in the direction of the other. I do, however, need to acknowledge that we can flippantly say we "envy" someone using a colloquialism to compliment another rather than communicate a deep feeling of displeasure in observing what the other has. 

How do we prevent envy from becoming a latent and destructive emotion within ourselves? Holding onto envy uses up emotional energy (to continue to exist internally, it needs to be "fed"). Firstly, simply recognising that we are envious, naming it, allows us to begin to deal with it. We need to explore and question why we feel this way. Is it that we feel we are lacking in an aspect of self or is it a lack of material possessions? It is only in fully exploring the "problem" that we can begin find a solution. As we understand more fully why or what we are envious about can we begin a process of change in our lives - change in seeing, thinking and behaving.

A change in "seeing" brings about a broader assessment of who we are, our potential and what we have, beyond just the material. It is an attempt to as accurately as possible understand how we perceive ourselves and  the world around us. Our seeing can be altered seeking feedback from those we trust as we gain understanding in  how they "see" us and our situation.  We should attempt to "see" what we have overlooked in ourselves and our situation.

In terms of thinking, we need to become aware of our mindtalk (the dialogue in our head), how our thinking has contributed to us feeling envy. Journaling our thoughts often serves to highlight the what and why of our emotions and thinking. Journaling is where we name what we are feeling and thinking and we can bring some order to our emotions. In doing so we begin a process of enabling ourselves, through this analysis, to bring about change to our behaviour and emotions. We understand what it is that we need to change and thus we consciously choose behaviour that will be in the direction of change.

In overcoming envy we need to recognise that we may fall short in many ways to others, but those others too fall short in their own ways. Our focus needs to be on what we do have, an awareness to be grateful, knowing that whoever we are and whatever we have there is always someone who has less. Where we are able we need to be generous to others with our unique talents and our possessions and so keep the strangle hold of envy at bay.

Reference and further reading:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings...

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/envy/